The Vibe MatrixThe First Ferrari FF in Chicago

Sex, meet Pragmatism.

You know the one bad thing about every other Ferrari? All your friends want to ride in it, but only one can… and, if you don’t look good in a bikini, you’re SOL. (Sorry Pops, no one wants to ride in your mid-80s Mondial, even though that fugly Ferrari also seats four.)

“Ho, ho, ho! I still can’t fit in it.”

Earlier this year, the Ferrari FF got a lot of fanfare in the automotive press. While its 200 mph capability makes it worthy of the lineage, some critics argued that it just didn’t look like a Ferrari. We’ll go ahead and admit that at first glance it looks as if the Jolly Green Giant stepped on your wife’s Pontiac Vibe… BUT, after he lifted his foot, you both fought for the keys because the car was aesthetically much improved.

Pontiac should still make GTOs, Trans Ams and Vibe GTs. Period.

All criticism aside, potentially, it could beat the Porsche Cayenne as the ultimate shag wagon for all seasons. It seats four full-grown males over 6-ft tall and it’s all-wheel-drive enables it to drive well in snow. Hell, it’s as if prom-queen Ferrari bagged a Jeep Wrangler quarterback at a keg party and the best genes prevailed.

So? What was the initial reaction on the streets of Chi-Town?

Because the first thing you want to do to a supermodel with junk in her trunk is get ‘er dirtaay.

Two words: Enthusiastically Mixed. I’ve never seen that much reaction to a car on the street. Doormen claimed they at first thought it was “some kinda Porsche.” After a lot of gawking by everyone on the sidewalk, one guy found the courage to call it ugly, but everybody was staring, hot girls included. We’d venture to say that, for at least this season, the FF is the biggest head turner Ferrari has produced. Like a girl’s peek-a-boo one-piece, it’s just sleek-looking enough to make you take notice as it slowly is rendered from banality by your very own eyes. So buy it and take two of your best buds to Sonic. Then tell the hot girl on skates to drop the tots and hop in. You certainly couldn’t do that before in a Ferrari.